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| You can play classy venues like this someday. |
If anything positive comes out of performing in the 2011 Battle of the Boroughs, I've finally got a taste of what it's like to play a problem-free show in a nice venue.
Given my history of being vanquished in prior battles, I was anticipating the worst.
2004. My band Eyelash is playing at some sand dune on Long Island where the winning band bussed in a gaggle of groupies who feigned enthusiasm and tackled unsuspecting audience members with clipboards. I would like to think that such a cheap stunt would never fly on the Lower East Side, but there is something in the water that makes Long Islanders' musical tastes stuck somewhere around 1988.
Back to the present. Overall, I thought I did a pretty good job going into battle with the musical equivalent of a slingshot, considering that my competition was a 17-piece Latin Jazz orchestra, a 7-piece R&B band and a female rapper dressed like a Puerto Rican Betty Boop. All I had was my Strat, LoopStation and my rhythm shaker. Being the only "rocker," I knew I was a long-shot to win.
I did my catchiest number "Stars Without Makeup" and I was a hit and got cheers and laughs in all the right places.Or so I thought...
I was told there would be a post-performance interview by Terrance McKnight, but not that I would be the subject of American-Idol-ish commentary from a panel of judges. The dialogue went something like this:
"You sounded slightly-off-key, but it works for you! I hear a little bit of Velvet Underground."
You're no Mary J. but you don't have a band to cover up your vocal flaws, so we'll let it pass.
"You've managed to do so much with so little."
Where the hell is the rest of your band and why are you the only soloist?
"Tell me about your job working with kids."
One of the little buggers stole my iPod and $40 from my purse last Christmas.
"Uh....I love working with kids and they're such an inspiration, Terrance!"
I didn't win the battle to be crowned Queen of Da Bronx, but I think I emerged from the whole ordeal with my dignity intact and some free publicity, off-key commentary not-withstanding:
Here's a sampling of the post-battle round-up e-mails I got from various aquaintenaces, relatives and fren-emies:
"You were pretty good."
"Cheer up!"
"Where is the rest of your band?"
"Why did you wear all-black?"
"There is a reason why Robert Plant, Jimi Hendrix and Elvis didn't play solo."
I love being a musician.
